Control Stress in 10 Minutes

With family and friends feeling the burn of the recession, I have many conversations about job, marital, and money stress. Even though no one says it in the same way, they all mean to say the same thing, "I can't take this stressful situation any more. It is too much to handle."

But, is it really? I don't mean to sound insensitive, but I believe it is the thought, not the situation, that is the cause of so much pain. Asking, "But is it really?" jars people out of the feeling and gets them to begin to think about the truthfulness of the thought.

Part of the problem is that people think the stressful thoughts are not only reality, they are also for forever. The thinking process goes: if you can't handle what life throws at you now, then you can't handle it for the rest of your life. This creates a feeling of powerlessness as the momentary thought becomes the truth for the rest of your life.

The thought may come with a lot of bad images attached to it and questioning their validity can be a powerful step in getting beyond the anxiety and fear they create. Think about what "movies" play in your head when you think "I can't take this anymore." Do you see your future as one in which you are unemployed, divorced, or drinking heavily? When you have that "movie" in your head, how do you react in the present? Are you more unhappy? Do you start behaving in ways that are congruent with the "movie"? Do you go make a drink or yell at your spouse? Notice that you are reacting as though your "movie" is in fact a reality.

Get control of the stress in less than 10 minutes. I find that using an NLP trick works really well in getting control over the "movie" and reducing negative feelings. The images in your head are often big, silver screen size and hence they can feel overwhelming. The trick is to reduce their size. Let the images run through your mind as though they were on a projector, but run the "movie" backwards. If you see yourself losing your job, losing your house, then your spouse leaves you and you are alone, homeless and pushing a shopping cart, then start with you pushing the shopping cart and work back to the beginning. At the same time, sing or hum a song. Repeat playing the images backwards at least 6 times, going at a faster and faster speed while also singing your song faster. This whole exercise should take about 10 minutes. How do the images look now? Did they go from movie sized to very, very tiny? Do the pictures seem much more like an unrealistic dream than your certain future?

Now, you have removed yourself from the thought, "I can't handle this." Notice how you feel and notice your present reality. This is who you really are without the negative thought. Who are you right now? Are you actually handling your current situation? Are you able to smile and laugh? Can you have meaningful connections with others? Do you see that you are good and capable? This is who you really are; you are not the thought.

In fact, you have proved that the thought isn't true. You can handle the current situation and the stress is not too much to handle. Take second and let that sink in. Close your eyes and see your life without the bad thought. Do you see that the thought was creating your stressful life? Do you see that it is possible to live a stress free life? Can you now recognize that believing or disproving thoughts is what shapes your life?

Right now, just be in the moment. Just be peaceful and aware and calm and silent. Even if you can only just "be" for 5 seconds, take the few seconds to be in the moment. Once you experience how great it feels, you begin to recognize that it is truly possible to live a happy, peaceful, balanced life.

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