The answer to getting out of my rut was always just around the corner, felt but not seen. I secretly hoped that every self-help book I read would give me the motivation I needed to truly, once and for all, get me out of my rut so that I could start living the life I knew I was meant to live.

Months would pass and things would continue to stay the same, or occasionally get worse. My irritation, frustration, and impatience would stack upon eachother until their combined height dwarfed me. And, then I would crumble and declare that I was "sick and tired" of living a life that was incompatible with my desires. This became a reoccurring pattern in my life. I was using negative emotions to provide the motivation needed to change. While I was unhappy with this habit, it provided benefits for me, too. By waiting until the blocks were stacked against me, I didn't have to put any effort into thinking about solving problems before they got out of control. I would just coast along for months on cruise control instead of actively driving my life's course.

I didn't want to accept that I had control over my life. I thought it was easier to cope with whatever cards life dealt me, rather than to change myself. Instead of being proactive, I was reactive.

This past year, my view point has changed and now I see that to change myself is a joyous and courageous act. I now see that I can only control, and therefore change, myself. When I think back to all of the time spent fantasizing about how my life would be better once things changed, I can see the flaw in my thinking. When I wished for change, I thought it meant that there was nothing that I could do; I was helpless. It is easier to wish for change than to make the changes. But, it discounts who you are - it detracts from the innate value that we all have as human beings. The more I recognized my own self-worth, the more positive motivation I had.

Negative motivation is focused on not making mistakes and not being a failure. To fail is embarrassing, shameful, and means that you have less value. The whole concept is that you are either born capable or not capable. Positive motivation assumes that everyone is capable, they just need to learn how. It is all about personal growth and learning. Each time you try, regardless of the outcome, you are increasing your own internal sense of control. Change means empowerment and it fuels success. Positive motivation holds the beliefs that we all have power and that we are not helpless. Instead of thinking, "there is nothing that I can do", think instead, "no matter how small, there is always something that I can do."

The other day, I was walking to my car in a parking lot and I noticed an old rusty screw on the ground. I walked past it and unlocked my car. As I put my purse in the passenger seat, I thought, "no matter how small, there is always something that I can do." I went back and picked up the screw so that no one would step on it or puncture their car tires. That small act was potent food for my heart and soul. Instead of reacting to life, I was helping to prevent an injury or incovenience to others. By changing my initial passive reaction of walking by, to responsibly going back and picking up the screw, I was contributing to the world; not merely reacting to it. We can all make a difference, in thousands of ways, to serve eachother and our planet. There is always something that we can do.

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