Self-efficacy

Often, people forget that there is a difference between responsibility and accountability. Substitution of one word for the other is common. In fact, they are closely connected. When you are responsible for something, you are expected to hold yourself accountable for the consequences of your actions. Accountability and responsibility go hand-in-hand.

Maturity and trustworthiness distinguish accountability from responsibility. While responsibility is about action taken, accountability is about having the maturity to deal with the consequences and to behave in a trustworthy manner. It is about being strong when you make mistakes.

When I was five, I shoplifted. I tried on a plastic ring in a toy shop and wore it outside the store. When my mom noticed, she took me back to the store and made me apologize to the owner. I vividly remember the frown on the man's face and my heart rapidly beating in my chest. A part of me wanted to run away and I was scared that both the owner and my mother thought I was a bad person.

Oddly enough, once I returned the ring, I felt good. Being accountable for stealing made me realize that my actions had consequences and that I had the ability to affect the world around me. I understood in a way that my five-year-old-self could not articulate that being accountable was a great equalizer between the adult-child dynamics of my little world.

When a teenager toliet papers a house, he is responsible for it. But, 9 times out of 10, he doesn't take accountability for it; he doesn't clean up the mess. The next morning, the unfortunate homeowner might rhetorically ask, "Who is responsible for this??" as the homeowner is stuck cleaning up the mess.

Your actions have consequences.

Things don't always turn out as you expect them to. You unintentionally hurt a loved one, you are late for an important meeting, you make a mistake, or you say the wrong thing. When your actions have negative consequences, it is difficult to own up to them and conduct yourself in a mature and trustworthy way.

It's tough to say, "I was wrong, it's my fault and I'm sorry." To this day, there are times when I still feel like a five year old and just want to run away. It is tempting to let the blame fall somewhere else.

You will respect yourself, and others will respect you, when you admit responsibility and hold yourself accountable. Self-efficacy is having the power to produce an effect. When you deal with others in a mature and honest way, then they know you can be trusted.

When you are strong enough to deal with the unpleasant consequences of your mistakes, people will know that you are not likely to make the same mistake again. It is healing for them - and for you - because it clears the path for them to forgive and move on. If you are weak and do not take accountability, then you lose people's respect and trust.

Self-efficacy is having the power to produce an effect and responsibility and accountability means being mature about those effects.

People are not perfect. It is how you deal with your imperfections that defines you. Admit your mistakes, deal with the consequences in a mature and trustworthy way, and people will admire your strength. Best of all, you will admire yourself.

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