Lack of Money

The Money Exercise

Recently, a friend expressed his anxiety about not having enough money in his life. He really wants to change careers, but, given the current economic climate, he doesn't want to jepordize the stable job he currently has. Even though I hear this same dilemma from many people, this time it struck me as quite different. I remembered that my friend had been saying he couldn't pursue his dream job for several years, even before the current recession. All of a sudden, I saw that the economy had nothing to do with his decision not to start up his own company.

Me: If the economy wasn't bad, how much money would you be comfortable making in your new business?

Him: Uhh....I don't know. Enough to quit my day job. But, that will take years. I have to build up a clientele and right now, no one is spending money.

Me: Soo... how much money is that exactly? And, if you don't want to give away your salary, I get it. I can ask the question this way, too: if someone was willing to pay you $20 for a very minimal amount of work, would you say yes?

Him: Yeah

Me: If someone was willing to pay you $1,000 for your services, would you say yes?

Him: Yeah, that would be great

Me: If someone offered to pay you $10,000 for your services and expertise, would that be great, too?

Him: Hmmm, $10,000...that's a lot. They might expect me to do some stuff that I don't like doing. Or, that project may not be interesting. Like, for that much money, I might not want to do it.

Me: Ah-hah! That's it! Now we are getting somewhere. Do you see how it's your beliefs about what you have to do in order to make real money that are holding you back?

Him: What? What do you mean?

Me: You have a belief that in order to make any really big amount of money, that you will have to do stuff that you don't want to do. That is what is holding you back. It's not the economy, because two years ago the economy was better, but you still had the same thoughts. it's your beliefs about the sacrifices and pain you will have to endure in order to make it in your own business that are holding you back.

Him: Well, I don't normally get $10,000 checks all at once. I earn that much over a couple of months, but, it's hard to imagine what it would take to get that much all at one time.

Me: So, then do you want to start feeling comforable imagining it? 'Cause that is really the next step. Until you can imagine it, you won't get those kinds of checks.

Him: That is hard to do...it is so far out of reach.

Me: If it is hard for you to do, then it sounds like being stressed about lack of money is actually serving a purpose for you. It is protecting you somehow or giving you a benefit of some kind. Why is it a good thing for you to think that if you are going to earn a lot money, then you must "pay a price" for it?

Him: If it comes too easily, then money will corrupt my life. It isn't always good to have a lot of money. It would make things hard with my parents and my brother. They would want some of it and I think it would make our relationship pretty uncomfortable. I would be earning more than my friends, too, and that would be awkward.

Me: So, then, your belief that money will come at a cost is actually keeping you safe and secure. It is a way of making sure that your relationships stay protected. But, do you see, that you don't know if any of that stuff will actually happen if you start making a lot of money? You really don't know how anyone is going to react, right?

Him: Huh....well, no I don't know for sure. But, it could definitely happen.

Me: But, you want to be self-employed and you want to earn enough money to be comfortable and do the things you want to do. So, what if you allow yourself to have a new vision: you can have money and you can have some new ways of how you can maintain good relationships with other people. There are lots of rich people who have solid, loving families, so why not you? It is possible. Or, at the very least, you could always just say "no" if someone did ask you for money.

Him: So, have the money and have good relationships? That would be great. I don't see how I can do that, but you are right that other people have figured it out. And, yeah, I could always just say "no" if someone did ask for money.

Me: Spend some time noticing how people with money also have good relationships. Think of someone rich and famous that you admire and read up on their life values. Pay attention to the radio, TV, movies, and your neighbors and see if they offer any clues. I have always found that once I put my mind on something, I notice it popping up everywhere.

There are definitely ways to open up your life to the possibility of more money while also keeping yourself and your family protected. Instead of battling with yourself on your current beliefs, just create new beliefs that also help you create what you want in your life without any of the negative consequences.

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