How To Change

For many people,figuring out how to change seems hard and intimidating. But, this is simply a misbelief. When you step back and think about the big picture of your life, it is easy to see that life is all about change. In fact, you change throughout your life. You are in a constant state of change, every single day.

Perhaps you think that figuring out how to change will take years of hard work and misery. Such a belief smothers the flicker of desire deep within you to live a more meaningful life. You might think it is easier to live an unfulfilling life, rather than take a risk.

Learning how to change can happen as quickly as turning on a light. One moment, you are stuck in darkness, and the next moment, your life is flooded with joyful light. Change can happen in a few short weeks, and, occasionally, it can happen in mere minutes. For example, when a great song comes on the radio, your mood instantly lifts and you can't help but sing along.

Some people experience positive change for a short while and then revert back to their old ways. People on diets tend to experience this. A friend of mine, a perpetual dieter, has the following saying posted to her fridge:

"I've been on a diet for one month and I've lost 12 days"

Reverting back to old ways is frustrating, but change is like building a new path for your life. The more you practice at changing, the clearer and wider your new path becomes. With practice, it gets easier and easier to get back on track and move forward.

There is always a way to change. People get stuck on not knowing how to change without pain. If you don't like something, how can you change it without making yourself miserable?

1. You are not a fortune teller. It's impossible to predict what the future will hold. You can't know for sure that making a change in your life will make you unhappy. Kill your "dooms day" fantasies, smash that crystal ball and toss the lucky 8 ball in the trash.

2. Focus on the positive. Constantly reminding yourself of all of your perceived faults might temporarily motivate you to change, but not for long. Focusing on what is wrong creates negative energy that will drain you. Turn it around: if you hired coach to help you change, what would you want them to say to get you motivated? If they were constantly reminding you of your faults, how long would you keep showing up for the training sessions? Probably not very long. Have laser-sharp focus on what you want to create in your life and allow that positive energy to propel you forward.

3. Expand on what works. Think back to happy, successful times in your life. What worked? Why? What did you learn? I used the word "happy" above on purpose. Tune in to your feelings, not your intellect, and let your good feelings, your heart, and your soul guide you. These will help you to discover your natural strengths which you can use in the areas that you want to change.

As you become comfortable with change, you will attract more and more people into your life who are also comfortable with change. Your world will expand with possibilities and opportunities. The more you change, the more you will attract other change agents, and the more comfortable you will become with change. As your change muscle gets stronger, your fear of change will get very weak. Change will become fun and exciting, not painful and stressful.

You can create incredible change in your life without having to go through incredible pain first. Once you believe it is possible to change, then change is dramatically more likely to actually happen.

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