It Is OK to Hope

There are a lot of people who have begun to fear hope. If they allow themselves to hope, then they are setting themselves up for heightened disappointment and failure. The thinking goes: without hope, you may fail, but iif you dare to hope first and then you fail, that really, really sucks. Hope's lightness and sweetness makes failure's darkness very bitter.

Another set of people think that hope won't help you achieve results, and so they discard it from the deck of options. They are focused on getting things done and think that focusing on hope is just a waste of time. For this group, they are focused on the outcome of realizing goals rather than on the process of living life.

Hope is fun. It enriches your life. It is the posibility that something good, pleasurable, or desire may occur. Hope is like a ray of sunshine that enables the seeds you plant today to have a bright and lush future.That ray of sun doesn't promise or guarantee that the garden of your dreams will grow, but that sunbeam is the possibility that it could happen. Seeds need more than light in order to blossom, just like our dreams need more than hope in order to come true. Just like gardens need rich soil, a little shade, and some water, our dreams require more than hope. If we want change, then we must take action. Hope is the thing that makes taking action fun.

Hope alone is not enough. People often think that hoping something will happen is enough to make it happen. People often say, "I always hoped I would get a promotion or travel to Paris, but it never happened." They then say, "what's the point in having hope? Hope doesn't work." And, they are right, because hope allows you to imagine what could be, but doing the work is up to you. People can get stuck for years thinking, "Well, I hoped it would come true. I imagined what it would feel like if it came true. But, nothing ever happened...my dreams didn't materialize."

A question I like to ask myself is, "What have I done in addition to hoping my desires will come true?" Asked another, "Besides hoping, have I taken any action?" This always unsticks me and reminds me that hope is there to help me imagine how great my future can be, but making it come true is up to me. As I said earlier, hope doesn't promise or guarantee anything. It is a fun (instead of stressful) way to think about your future.

For example, earlier this summer, I hoped to lose 10 pounds. I posed in front of the mirror, imagining a slimmer body. I told friends that I wanted to lose weight and every couple of days, I skimmed weight loss and diet blogs. Every time I talked about it or read something new, I felt hopeful that I could lose the weight. I envisioned myself feeling healthier and more confident. This was a lot of internal work, but, I never took any external action. I didn't change my diet nor did I exercise more. And, so, I didn't lose any weight. Just the other day at lunch, one of nmy friends said, "I really wanted to lose weight and I keep putting my intention on it, but its not working. I am so frustrated." Clearly, she hoped to be in better shape, but hoping and putting her intentions on losing weight aren't enough. She needed to take real, concrete steps to make weight loss a reality.

I could sit on the couch and hope to have a successful and meaningful blog, but all I would really be doing is sitting on the couch. If I thought it was hopeless (ie if I didn't have hope) to create a valuable blog, then I wouldn't put time into reading self help books, working on my writing skills, or learn about online marketing. Hopelessness means that you do...well, absolutely nothing. But, because I do have hope, I do put my time into improving my blogging, writing, and business skills.

Hope is the spark of energy needed to take real, directed, and meaningful action. And, while all action produces results, it doesn't mean that they are the results you were hoping for. If you want a new job, and you apply for openings through news paper and search engine ads, then you may get some interviews and learn that you are not thrilled with any of the jobs. I love to "check-in" with myself and see if what I am doing is producing what I want. Using the job-hunt example, I might "check-in" and realize that applying to general ads is not getting me what I want and so I would then try using a head hunter or networking for new job leads.

Remember, having hope isn't the problem; it is just that what you are doing may not be working. Said another way, its good to figure out if what you are doing is not working instead of thinking that your dreams aren't achievable. Making this distinction is crucial because hope grows from the seed of possibility. You can set yourself up for a life of lightness, hope, and joy or you can set yourself up for a life of darkness, frustration, and despair. Make the effort to take action for what you want and then have a "time out" to see if what you are doing is producing what you want. This is how you set yourself up for a life of hope and success.

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