Goals: You Want What You Want, So Stop Arguing With YourselfHappiness is not dependent upon acheiving your goals. Those external acheivements, like getting the dream beach house are great but focus instead on internal actions and choices. Getting that perfect marriage, the nice car, the well behaved kids are experiences in the course of your life, they are not ultimate goals. Seeing them as events and circumstances to be experienced removes them from having any affect on how you view yourself. They don't define you as a person.
The imagined fantasy is a great motivator for taking action on your goals in order to get the dream life. It is, in a sense, a form of love and acceptance for yourself. You are not denying yourself the chance to go after your goals. Whether or not you feel like you deserve what you want, you still want it. Bottom line. You want what you want. Why should you go after a less bright dream life? A version that seems acheivable? It's not like telling youself "No, you dont deserve that" does any good. It's not like you then say, "Oh, you are right, I dont deserve that. I will stop thinking about what I really want now. Thanks for the tip." Choose to believe your goals are attainable. I have found that no matter how many times I tell myself "no" to wanting what I want, I still think about it. Sometimes, I will think about it every day for years! So, why not choose to believe? Why not say, "I want this! It's time to go get it!" Look back at your life and all the things you didn't think you could do, but you did them. What made the difference? There was a turning point, where a fleeting idea became a knowing belief which ignited action. As soon as you change what you are telling yourself internally, you have given yourself love. You have gone from denial (which leads to anger, hurt feelings, resentment) to love. That is a powerful shift and it can happen immediately. There is an immediate, positive result to changing your inner talk: you feel great!
You feel inspired and ready for action. Suddenly, you have the energy to do a little exploring about making your dreams come true. By exploring, you realize that you respected and honored yourself enough to start taking actions to acheive your goals. These are powerful, invaluable learnings. Pay attention to your small, every day "wants". If you are anything like me, you have "wants" every day, you just have to listen to them and take action. So, list your simple "wants": I feel like lighting candles, I feel tired and want to go to bed earlier tonight. Take action on these small things and then taking action on bigger "wants" will become automatic. "I dont have time" is a lie! You do have the time to do what you want to do, not just all the stuff you feel you have to do. If you are wondering what the weather is like outside, then get up and go look! Its that simple. You will be amazed at how quickly you will take action on your bigger "wants". Know that you can take action to make your dreams come true, know that you don't have to deny yourself your desires. These are fundamentals of success as I define it. This knowing is success. These skills are success. Knowing how to correct your thoughts, listen to yourself, and taking action is success. Know that you can make the conscious decision to shift your thoughts away from negative, self-defeating comments and focus instead on loving, positive thoughts is empowering! The knowledge that you can choose how to view yourself, your life, and our world is very powerful. You have no excuses - there is no room for self-pity. I'll be honest with you - there was a time in my life when I couldn't think of much that was good about my life. The shift from not knowing that I could choose to be happy to the knowing that happiness is in how I choose to think and perceive the world is like being handed the key to life. The secret, if you will, to life.
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