Goals #2Think about your goals and dreams and ask yourself: Is this what I really want? Or, is this what I think I can have? Most people's goals and dreams stop at what they think they can get, like a deer that lives in a canyon thinks that all his food and sleeping options are contained only within that nook. The deer's normal day is spent exploring the canyon floor and an adventurous day might be walking the entire length of the canyon. The deer thinks that this canyon contains all the options for his life. People do the same thing with their goals and dreams, unknowingly limiting their own potential, by choosing to walk the length of the canyon floor rather than climbing the hillside to see what awaits on the other side.
Most people don't have the things and the life that they really want to have because they think about expanding their walk on the canyon floor, but they don't think about what it would take to learn to climb the canyon hill. People that don't have the life they want probably have dreams that are expansions and additions to what they already know how to do. Their dreams don't venture into unknown territory. In other words, people don't already have what they want because they are conditioned not to want what they think they can't have. In short, if having it seems impossible, then most people won't put it on their "goals list" or "dreams list". For me, that begs the questions: why waste your life going after things you don't really want? Why base your dreams on what you think you can get? How much motivation would anyone really have to achieve those limited dreams? I imagine they don't have much motivation to go after things that are not what they truly want, and that that is why so many people feel stuck. People tend to feel stuck when their lives are not going well and they are unhappy. Often, they will question their goals and dreams. But, it is harder for them to do so when things are OK. A common pitfall is to think that when your life is going fairly well and you are generally pretty happy, then the goals you set for yourself were good ones. But, there is a very important distinction between being generally pretty happy and feeling joyous, vital, and alive.
A few years ago, on my college graduation day, I felt somewhat happy and I remember that I smiled and laughed a lot that day. Graduating from college was something that I felt was a goal I was supposed to achieve and I did it. It felt nice. But, when I decided to follow my passion for real estate, and I passed the written realtor's exam, I was elated. I went directly to Best Buy, splurged on some new CDs, went home, and danced around the living room. I jumped around, tossed my hair, and shook my hips! I sure didn't look like Madonna, but I did have a lot of fun that night. Again, think about your goals and dreams and look at them from this new point of view. How many of them no longer look like big goals, but instead now appear to be sensible and tame? Are you more excited about getting the things on this list or are you more excited about the 5 year anniversary present from work? Goals that based on your unique, authentic desires are goals that you truly want. They get you excited and achieving them would be really wonderful. When you think of them, passion flows into your body and often people literally feel lighter. Focusing on goals that awaken your passion is the difference that can literally make your life different and get you out of your rut. Immediately cross off a sensible item from your "goals list" or "dream list". This will free up time to focus on your passionate goal. Next, write in bold, block letters at the very top of your list what your true dream goal is. Every time you refer to your list, this one will jump out at you and "stick" in your mind. For the next week, set aside time to think about your passionate goal. Since this is a new way of thinking about goals and what you really want, some people might find it difficult to really think about what it would be like to live "the dream". It may be easier for you to do while going for an evening walk, while listening to the radio, or before falling asleep at night. What I find works best for me, is to pretend that I have an alternate life and in it my dream goal has been realized. It is almost as though I have two separate lives (my current one and my ideal one) that are taking place at the exact same time. This trick allows me to immediately experience the wonderful feeling of going after my dreams and to recreate my life to be exactly what I want to make it about. It also increases my creativity and energy in the present moment. The higher my energy and creativity, the more easily and quickly ideas for taking real action come to me. I can literally come up with the next step required to get me closer to my dream coming true. Since I tend to get stuck thinking, "If I don't know how to do it all right now, then I can't do it at all", this alternative life trick helps to shift my thinking. In turn, this allows me to design my alternate life in order to achieve my dreams. It is amazing how much can change just from thinking about what you would love to go for.
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