Building Self Confidence #4Building Self Confidence #4: Do you want to figure out how to be happy right this instant? I thought so :) Here is a sure fire way to be happy: be kind to yourself and be kind to others. Pause whatever it is that you are doing in this moment and think of something good about yourself or a good deed you did for someone else. Did you do something nice for a loved one without being asked? Did you hold the door open for a stranger? Did you give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done at work? Now, close your eyes are re-experience that moment and make sure to get in touch with how good you felt when it happened.
The reward for your acts of kindness is real, authentic happiness that comes from knowing deep down that you are a good and decent human being. This is also great for building self confidence as you will begin to see your own worth and value. You come to know that you have a good purpose for being alive and you are able to see that you make the world a better place. Therefore, when you do good, you feel good. When you hold positive, motivational pictures in your mind, it is very difficult (if not impossible) to feel bad at the same time. The two are like oil and water: they just don't mix. Here are some ideas for how you can do good for others and experience more authentic happiness: Let other people know that they are not alone. The power of connection is very strong and it is a major source of happiness for a lot of people. You can form small connections with just about anyone: - Say "please" and "thank you". This is a subtle way of indicating to others that you truly notice them and value what they are doing. For example, how often do you think the guy at the hot dog stand feels ignored? Take the time to courteously acknowledge him and you will both feel more connected.
- Connect with another person by seeing the situation from their point of view. How do they feel? What are they trying to tell you? If you were them, what would you like to hear in order to feel better? That last question has been a golden key for and I strongly encourage you to give it a try. It really forced me to push past the stereotypical responses such as, "I am sorry to hear that", "Things will get better", "Hang in there", etc. While all of those responses can be appropriate, they don't encourage real connectedness. The next time someone is going through a hard time, step back and think about what you would like to hear if you were them; you connection will quickly become stronger! - Try to listen to others and give them all of your attention. I once heard that everyone is walking around with three invisible words written on their foreheads: "Listen to me." We all want to be heard, so make an effort to hear what others have to say. Repeat back to them what you think you heard them say. Some people find this hard to do, but it is tremendously rewarding. These are tried-and-true ways of improving personal and work relationships, and I think they apply to all types of relationships. The better your communication, the stronger your connection. - Develop self awareness. Pay attention to how you feel inside, how you communicate to yourself (self talk) and how you communicate with others. Take responsibility for your actions and your emotions, after all, no one can make you feel bad or angry or stressed without your consent. As you develop a stronger connection to yourself, you will naturally develop a stronger connection with others.
So, remember, figuring out how to be happy is as easy as being kind to yourself and to others. Practice doing good in order to feel good and notice the change in yourself. You will be building self confidence, developing deeper connections with others, and experiencing authentic happiness. Good luck!
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