The Secret to Building Self Confidence

My whole life, I have had to work on building self confidence. When I was 8 and auditioned for a play, I boldly went about overcoming stage fright. And, a few years ago, when Hurricane Katrina struck my home, I managed my fears pretty well and kept my wits about me. Basically, when it comes to specific, scary events, I can act courageously. I have learned that the more life challenges I endure, the stronger and more courageous I become. Being courageous fuels the growth of more courage.

But, building self confidence is a different matter. Facing fear and being courageous does not directly fuel the growth of more self confidence. However, what does lead to building self confidence is feeling good about yourself. When you feel good about yourself, you are happier, more peaceful, more fulfilled, and more at ease with yourself. Self confidence can be used for every life situation (not just the scary ones, like courage).

It is very possible to have courage, and at the same time, have low self esteem. Likewise, building self confidence can make it easier to have more courage, but more courage doesn't necessarily make it easier to have more self confidence. Courage is a means for facing fear during a time of great danger, whether that danger is perceived or real. Self confidence is a means for loving yourself, no matter what the situation may be. Courage is for specific events, while self confidence can be used every day, in any situation.

The secret way to boost self confidence is to ACT AT EASE while acting as if you are already confident. "Fake it, until you make it" is something you have heard before. It is a tried-and-true technique for some people, but others seem to get stuck "faking it" and never transition to "making it".

Have you ever noticed that the good fakers are the ones that make it look natural and easy? They have figured out the secret way to boost self confidence: your body must be in alignment with your thoughts. For example, if you want to be seen as confident, then you must think, "I am confident", AND your body must also move like a confident person's body would move. Confident people are generally relaxed and comfortable in their bodies. Sometimes, when people try to "fake it" their bodies are stiff and they can come off as cocky or egotistical.

Focus on getting your body and your thoughts in alignment, and the quicker you will boost self confidence :-)