Automatic Negative ThoughtsAutomatic Negative Thoughts: Stop Them Now! We are born in a state of authenic happiness. We are born connected to ourselves, confident and happy. Connection, confidence and happiness are part of our natural state of being. What we do when we grow up and get older is to put up thoughts that block us from our natural state of being. These automatic negative thoughts blind us from seeing how great we really are.
Such thoughts are like a fungus that slowly grows with time. Over the years, as we grow older, it can be harder and harder to recall the joy we felt as children. As the number of negative, depressing, sad, or angry thoughts grow, they create an ever thicker barrier to our true selves. Negativity becomes abundant; happiness becomes scarce. The trick is not to go out and find happiness, but to stop doing the things that make you unhappy. In other words, you don't have to put a lot of energy into constantly repeating happy thoughts over-and-over again. All you need to do is to stop the automatic negative thoughts and then the happy ones will naturally rise to the surface.
Once you remove automatic negative thoughts, your happiness, which has always been living inside of you, will brightly shine through. Happiness has been inside of you for your whole life and you can't be separated from it. Happiness is part of your core being, and it is a form of energy. We are all energy - we are made up of tiny particles of energy. You can't lose your energy, because you are energy. But, negative thoughts make you less energetic. So, stop the negative thoughts you will feel reconnected to your energy.
One of the biggest drivers of unhappiness is the need to always be in control. Focusing your thoughts and actions on how to gain and maintain control is exhausting. Instead, focus on creating a happy outcome - without trying to control the process.
For example, if your purpose is to have better relationships, then focus on creating that end result rather than focusing on and trying to control the way in which a relationship gets improved. You may think you know the perfect way to bond with someone, and you may make elaborate plans for an action packed, fun filled day or date. But, really, bonding is about fully listening to the other person and accepting them for who they are. This is also very true for dieting, as well. My purpose is to lose weight. A lot of the popular diet books don't work on me because my personality and food preferences don't jive with their diet regimen. Focusing less on how many carbs or how much protein I am eating and focusing more on feeling energized, full, and healthy is what sticks with me for the long term and makes dieting a success. Sticking with it when the "going gets tough" is a valued trait in society. But, does it always make sense? Sometimes, it makes you miserable, which is stupid and can be damaging to your self-esteem. Don't ignore your own wisdom that says it is time to stop or that it is not worth the pain. Listen to yourself and your intuition. Be true to yourself. Real motivation comes from pursuing that to which you are aligned.
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